On the other side...

So,  it has definitely been interesting being on the other side of the health care world.  Being a nurse I continuously strive to show love, compassion and empathy.  I truly care about my patients and their family members!  But until I lost my uncle to cancer in September, the first loved one I have lost since I have been a Registered Nurse, I did not genuinely know what it is like to be on the other side.  I mean, I had complete trust in the nurse taking care of him, but at the same time emotions play a HUGE part in the picture!  No matter how much I intellectually knew that my uncle had fought an incredibly courageous fight against lung cancer, I wanted the nurse and the doctor to heal him, to make him well, to save him from this horrendous disease.  Why couldn't they save him? Why did HE, this loving selfless man have a fatal disease?  It wasn't fair, nothing that he had dealt with for the past year and nine months was deserved.  But he had given it his all.  He had fought to the end...all that he wanted now was to be comfortable...and that was what he got.  Although it was extremely difficult to see him leave the physical world, to leave those who loved him most, he looked soooo peaceful.  No pain, no struggle, no anguish.  Peace.  That is all I wish for those around me.  There is nothing more enjoyable.  Unless your entire being is at peace - physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually - you are missing out.  I can read about Hodgkins lymphoma, treatment, and complications until the sun goes down, but the only way I can fight it is to be at peace.  I am ready and willing to be a survivor :-)  This week I found out I will be undergoing 3-6 months of chemotherapy and most likely I will dodge radiation therapy.  I underwent a pulmonary function test, an echocardiogram, and two oncology consults.  Coming up, I have a PET scan and a bone marrow biopsy (ouch) to assist with determining what "stage" the lymphoma is...it wont really change treatment but will help to provide a baseline starting point.  Moving along.  I'd have to say, although I'm still trying to wrap my head around everything, it's been a pretty smooth process.  Everyone that has been involved in my care is amazing - from the physicians to the phlebotomists...I literally shed tears with the lady who drew my blood the other day.  If that is not amazing, I don't know what is...